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She toys with the potatoes on her plate

Samuel Clark

 

She toys with the potatoes on her plate knocking them from side to side with a far away look in her eye. Is she bored with me? The conversation drifted away some time ago and now there's this overwhelming uncomfortable silence. Why do we need to fill these gaps with pointless talk?

My gaze drifts around the restaurant and the other customers. This place is way too cool for it's own good. It's all minimalist and sparse. Even the food on my plate is minimal. Just a tiny, pleasing to the eye circle of... I don't know what. There's an abstract painting on the wall I can't quite make out what it's supposed to be, or what it was abstracted from. It kinda looks like a giraffe, the colours are certainly there, but the shape is difficult to define.

She looks up from her food and smiles at me. The smile is odd, reluctant, half-hearted. Then she confronts me with it.

"I've been seeing someone else." The silence just continues, although the tone is different. One of shock, one of being completely crushed, one of being totally confused. Should I ask the standard questions? Who is he? How long has it been going on? Why? Do I not satisfy you in every single way? Have I done something wrong? Are you just a tart who has no self-control? Do I get angry; make a scene in the restaurant? Do I cry? How the bloody hell do I handle this?

She looks at me expectant. Waiting for that standard reaction like she's actually looking for a fight. I look her in the eye. Calmly place knife and fork on the table. Take several bills from my pocket and lay them on the table with the knife and fork. I give her one last look, lamenting the fevered enthusiasm of when we first got together. Not being able to keep our hands off each other. Thinking about her every single moment of the day. The anticipation of seeing each other. I remember all this, holding my gaze, our eyes locked. And in that moment everything just falls away. I stand up, still holding her gaze. I leave. I don't look back. She'll never see me again.